you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
