yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
