remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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