Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
