Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
