I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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