Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
