Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
