I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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