Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the day after is always just damage control
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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