My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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