you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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