Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
