Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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