I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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