it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
