I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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