Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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