Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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