i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just had sex on a roof
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize