She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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