When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
