nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
