She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
