ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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