My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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