help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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