I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
