Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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