don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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