I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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