i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
