we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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