Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You can't motorboat a personality
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
COCAINE IS GR8
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
