I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i came on her dog
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
