My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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