I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
