The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
