can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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