Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
