I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
