evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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