Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
