That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
