Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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