i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
