i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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