How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
