apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
