How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
