i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
