I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
