Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
